Seeking Adonis at 5 O'clock Mass (Lambertville)

It was Christmas Eve and I was feeling a little lonely, you know how it is. I figured, what the heck, I'll go to the 5 o'clock mass and see if that makes me feel any better. So, I head over to the church and I'm sitting in the back, kind of trying to blend in with the crowd.

That's when I see him. He's a few rows in front of me, and he's got this amazing head of dark hair and he's wearing a blue sweater. And let me tell you, he is one good-looking dude. I mean, I'm not trying to be shallow or anything, but I just couldn't stop staring at him. He had this aura about him, like he was the coolest guy in the room. And I'm thinking to myself, 'I've got to find a way to talk to this guy.'

So, this sweater, right? I mean, talk about a showstopper. It's this deep, rich blue color, like the ocean on a clear summer day. And the fabric, oh man, it's like the softest, coziest thing you've ever touched. It's got a round neckline and long sleeves, and it fits him like a glove. I mean, seriously, he must work out or something because this sweater is showing off every muscle he's got. And the sleeves, they're a little bit longer than his wrists, which gives him this laid-back, casual vibe. But here's the thing: the sweater is a little bit wrinkled. Like, he's been wearing it all day and then just threw it on for the Christmas Eve mass.

But that's what I love about it, you know? It makes him seem like a regular guy, not someone who's trying too hard. Maybe he's got a high-stress job, you know? Like, he's a brain surgeon or something and he's always rushing around. So he throws on the first thing he sees in the morning and doesn't have time to iron it. I mean, let's face it, who has time to iron a sweater when you're saving lives all day? Or maybe he's got kids, right? And they're always pulling on his clothes and messing them up. I mean, have you ever tried to keep a sweater looking nice when you've got little ones running around? It's impossible. But hey, at least it shows he's a good dad, right?"

Or maybe he's just a relaxed, laid-back guy, you know? Like, he doesn't care about wrinkles or anything like that. He's just happy to be alive and he doesn't sweat the small stuff. I mean, if that's the case, then I'm all for it. There's nothing sexier than a man who doesn't take himself too seriously.

So, if you're the guy I'm talking about, and you're reading this ad, drop me a line. Let's get together and talk. Maybe we can go grab a coffee or something.